izyz

It's already February. Did you get your bonus? If you are an employee, you should know by now whether your boss hates your guts or your "brown-nosing" antics worked.

If you got your bonus, well done. Work hard, stay out of trouble, compliment the boss on his ridiculous looking tie and pray that this time around next year you'll get that bonus again. If you have a lady boss, compliment her on anything except her husband.

For those who didn't get their bonus, here are few options:-

(i) Audition for Akademi Fantasia 3 (actually 4. Thanks Ms Yoga)

I hear that auditions are starting soon. To succeed, crop your hair really short ala Mawi (go to Kajang police station if your barber is closed) and dance like you've got a frog in your pants. It helps if you can sing.

(ii) Sell nasi lemak

You can do this in the morning before you start work. The secret is not in the sambal, it's the appearance. Discard the linen pants and put on your baju kelawar. Look like a Makcik. Slap on some bedak sejuk for good effect. People are more likely to buy nasi lemak from a makcik then a young cikurat. They think that the former cooks better nasi lemaks.

If you're a man, sell burgers.

(iii) Be entrepreneurial

Write some e-mails. Tell them that you are the long lost heir to the Kingdom of Walakalikutu and that you require their urgent help to transfer your funds to a trustworthy companion.

Trust me, there are suckers out there who will respond to your e-mails. I know of a few friends who did. Of course they all tell me that they only gave out a bit of money. From the painful look on their faces, I know that they paid out enough to make the lost King of Zwaliland happy.

If you don't think this works, then explain to me why you still get these kind of e-mails everyday.

(iv) Quit your job

If you're young, single and enthusiastic, then go for it. Move on until you find the right occupation and the right place to spend 9-10 hours working your butt off. The world is your oyster, as "Frankie Goes To Hollywood" use to say.

If you're not so young, married with kids and overdue on your credit card payments, see paragraph 2 above. Your job can't be that bad. See the guy in the picture?